We can talk about all the violence from police brutality, the government and other forces of evil in the world. But I understand there are greater forces than even those few. While the U.S government has trampled over many in the last 460 years as a power in the world, from wars, the slaughter of native people and the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade, still nothing is really worse than people who hate, murder and destroy anything in site that looks like them, talks like them, and are a direct reflection of them. That evil is properly called, black on black crime. We as a people suffer from mistreatment of each other by each other more so than any other ethnicity or race here in America. So there is much work to be done in the inner city communities where Black People live, poor and oppressed people in general.
I grew up in the church. Apostolic faith to be exact. My mother was Christian and my father a Muslim. Later as I got older, I discovered the two are one and the same and can be applied to the same person if you will. Since a Christian is one to be crystallized in the oneness with Christ, a title given to Jesus which means, ‘one anointed with power to crush the wicked’ and a Muslim is, ‘one who submits to do the will of God’, I understood on a much deeper level. Who wouldn’t want to see wickedness in the world removed and destroyed for good? Who in their right minds, wouldn’t want to follow God and his laws, to better our lives, our families and our communities? Since the two are principles that can be followed and applied by one person, no matter the race, color, creed or nationality of the person, then I concluded a person could be a Muslim and a Christian at the same time with no problem. More on that later tho.
Growing up, my mother and father were not married. They split when I was 2 years old. I saw some of their conflict growing up. I was never brought up to gang bang, but I had friends who were heavily in the streets. I had fights like any other boy in the neighborhood. I had a unstable living city life. Meaning my mother would always pick up and move to a different place. We lived in 3 cities with the majority time being in Los Angeles, the city of my birth and Cincinnati Ohio. I also lived in Atlanta for 2 years.
I started messing with girls really in elementary school sexually. I started getting more serious at age 15. I also began smoking weed at 15. I had friends who did it. I also started rapping at 15. My name was 12-gauge although I wouldn’t touch a gun until the age of 18. I rapped about violent things because thats where I was at the time. I would think of the sickest thing to say in my bars. I always had a dope voice too that people liked to hear recorded. I felt betrayed by my first rap group in school, got into a fight with them and got jumped and damn near won.
The worst thing to me.. was my angry explosion later on toward my mother. I called her out of her name, the B word to be exact at age 14. I didn’t understand why the anger was there, but it was. All this has a point. So I’m rapping, smoking, got anger toward my mother and messing with girls but didn’t get really serious in sex acts until the age of 18. By then I was selling some drugs, smoking, messing with girls and portraying something other than a boy who’s mother birthed him into the church and tried to steer him the right way.
Out of all that, I was never a crowd follower. Some of the homies still thought I was lame. My little brother had a similar upbringing but he was more cool with the crowd than I was. We got robbed before, got into street fights with neighbors, got into trouble, between me and my brother we did some jail time with him doing more than me. All that said, I simply realized what all my anger to some degree was about. We were rejecting a teaching to us via our mother from Christianity. Though I just said earlier, that my moms faith and my dads could be merged in on one person, it was the way the church was teaching BOYS… AND MEN…. that wasn’t congruent with what the streets or the hood as we call it was giving us. The streets was giving us an act tough, survive, be hard, fight back or be stomped the fuck out mentality and attitude. How in the hell could I use what the church was giving me, when all the homies were demanding something else from the environment? You always had to prove being tough. You understand? How you gone act when the joint is passed? When girls are laying down with boys what would you say if a girl wanted you to come over and chill? Yes i wasn’t a crowd follower, but pressure to be and act a certain way was rough man!
Okay so my point is, black boys are under siege but how? I was in the 7th grade. Cincinnati Ohio and always had a creative mind. Always a deep dreamer. Artist. We were in classes with white teachers mainly. Our reading class this day had a white “female” teacher going over some book about a “white” gang called the outsiders. That shit was boring as fuck! So a young artist began to draw and I was good at it. My mind could see a person walking, and I could visualize with my eyes the details of the facial features and get it spot on without the person sitting down in front of me for hours and hours trying to do realistic work. So I did just that, and when I got her looking dead on while she was moving about reading that boring ass shit, I put a cigarette at the side of her mouth, picked up the drawing, showed the class and had everybody laughing.
I was never a rowdy, loud disruptive student in class. Just a dope ass artist, deep thinker, and a black boy living in America. The teacher walked over, picked the drawing, said it was nice, “but its not time for that now, so put it away!”.
Why not have a meeting with parents and discuss a art school to develop your sons natural talent, gift and skill I’m thinking later on in life. I don’t know about you but in college, the thing that makes me mad, is taking all those damn classes THAT AIN’T GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CORE CLASSES I NEED TO TAKE TO GET THAT SHIT OVER WITH, START WORKING AND MAKING MONEY! Likewise, ‘that got damn book may have been New York’s best seller, but to a black boy, who grew up in church, had to fight back in the hood just to let others know I wasn’t that damn soft, and dealt with a father not being in my mothers life by way of a successful married couple, moving all the time, and being fed a type of teaching in church suitable to make women out of girls BUT NOT STRONG BLACK MEN OUT OF STRONG BLACK BOYS;’… that book ain’t have a got damn thing to do with me, and I could care less Nigga!…. excuse my french...but this bull shit we get fed in school is part of the reason black boys are in trouble. We don’t like school, drop out, and end up dead, in jail or wandering aimlessly on the streets. Yes a lot of this starts at home. Home is not just to blame, government is to blame, “Church’s” are to blame, weak ass black leadership are to blame, dead beat dads are to blame, though in my case my dad was there but not so much financially. Even if he gave more money to my mom, they weren’t married and couldn’t show us how to love a Black Woman! No shade on my dad, he did his best even though my mother struggled to raise us. Bless them both for what they did and continue to do.
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So all of that is to say, we deal with a lot. Most our girls or sisters, go off to college, get degrees, make big money, and we struggle to keep a job. Who’s fault is that? I’m not saying no back male is doing good. No but compared to the women, and how many of them are so strong mentally, and how many of us are so weak mentally, and can’t deal with their mentality most of them time, dude we doing BAD! So who is at fault? Thats not the point here. The point is who is ultimately RESPONSIBLE? Response means answer. Ible is replaced with an a and makes the word ‘able’. So response; able, means able to respond. Able to give an answer. Ability meaning we ‘Can’ as opposed to we ‘Can’t’. So the point here is we as black males are ultimately responsible along with our women. Why our women? Consider this quote. “We are the sum total of our mothers thinking” – Ava Muhammad. I won’t go in to detail, but look up the infamous, Willie Lynch letter and go see what he said was the key in making a slave on the plantation. Hit me back and tell me what he said. Did he say it was the male or the female? And who did the slave master have to get to first in order to begin the process of making a slave. Our women have to give ‘birth’ to different men. They can’t do it, with the education from college. We have that. They can’t do it with anything that has been in existence. They have to do it thinking something other than, all niggas ain’t shit, all men are dogs, and fuck a man I don’t need one! Think about it, how can they birth a strong son, and think weak thoughts about men? particularly your father and the one they had sex with?
With that said for now, I’m taking re-sponse-abiltiy. First for myself, then each one teach one. As a man who is being raised by a Giant among black men, the Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan who has been helping me be a Man in this world, with so much more developing and growing to do, I’m on the front lines using my music as a weaponized tool to reach the minds of black boys and young black men, brown boys, native boys and any young man who is crushed by white supremacy in this country. Thats apart of my larger purpose outside of being a Rap Lyricist. I’m going to continue the fight of saving my self and going after as many as I can to save the rest lyrically.
Enjoy, and I hope I did’t offend anyone. This fight is serious and I’m determined to win. Havn’t done so already, check out my dope artist page ‘MIKAL STANDS’ here.
Peace and Blessings,
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